I put my head down and studied for the last exam, taking occasional dance breaks. And suddenly, I am being soaked. My hands are heavy, my body is heavy, my mind is light and free. I am gasping for air. I am covered in hot pink glitter. If only everything stopped in that moment.
Except it did not. Except life continued. And a friendship I treasured made me feel like trash. Two days before leaving. And it became hard to see the good in St Andrews, it made me relieved to be leaving, ready to run away and restart. Except it is not as easy as that, is it?
My relationship with St Andrews is complicated. It is the place that I have been the happiest, the saddest, and the angriest. It is the place that I have met the most incredible people, and the worst. Yet, it is all of these experiences put together that have taught me about life and about myself. I am so thankful to have met, worked with, chatted with, drank with, danced with, cleaned with, studied with all of you. I am so thankful to have been your friend, your acquaintance, your classmate. Thank you for making me cry. It has been the ups and downs and all the moments in between. I am not running away, I am joining the dance.*
Samantha Emily Evans
*’Joining the dance’ is a reference to Come and Join The Dance by Joyce Johnson and is also the title of the next series of articles I will be writing, which you can read at Literary Pixie.