Valentine’s Day is coming; like a shark fin just barely sticking out of the water until it is February 14th and you are eaten alive. You are eaten by the thoughts that say, there is a reason you are single and that you will be single for the rest of your life. I say, FUCK THAT. As someone who started dating at the age of eighteen, and didn’t even kiss a person until after I graduated from high school, I say – who needs a boyf. I’m from the Valley – we call them boyf’s (pronounced boy-if) or at least in 2010. This is what I said to my first kiss:
“Ive never kissed a person”, I mumbled.
“do you want to?”
and i did.
his lips were soft, cold, surprising.
so odd to be on my own,
i pulled back.
“woah, that was weird”
Yes, I actually said “that was weird”. It felt the exact same as a bald man’s head. I know that because the first time I touched a bald man’s head, it was the exact same involuntary response.”First Kiss” is a poem I wrote an hour after I had my first kiss; it was published in the Inklight Literary Journal 2013-2014. I realized at that moment that kissing doesn’t matter unless you actually care about the person behind the lips — or you get mono. But back to what I was saying – FUCK THAT.
To quote the brilliant Orson Welles,
“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.”
As Welles states, it is all an illusion; it is all in your head. Even when you are in a relationship, you are actually single. Everyone is single! Valentine’s Day is really the celebration of successfully pretending that you are not. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I like the mantra, “Alone but not lonely.” Alone and lonely are two very different things, yet they are often melded together. There is nothing wrong with being alone – check out Andrea Dorfman’s guide “How To Be Alone”if you are not sure how. I find her poem very inspiring. Valentine’s Day should really be a celebration of loving yourself.
Another quote by another brilliant person, Oscar Wilde,
“To fall in love with oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
Thus, by turning Valentine’s’ Day into the celebration of self-love, there are no longer sharks in the water. There is nothing wrong with being single, because it is natural. Do what is natural. Celebrate what is natural. And enjoy the romantic comedy of your lifelong single romance.
Featured Image: Ilaria Maresi
Originally published on The Tribe.