He Could Be #3

I must tell you this, but I really really like him

such a calm,

how crazy this is – he stayed over last night

(again) such dreams,

of those days before – of feeling object

a fear to speak, going on a date

but not wanting to date,

but being afraid to say that to forbid intimacy

(though I know they can happen without the other,

I say again and again),

and then seeing him- and feeling him,

and being no no no

and telling my date

actually my mom called and I have go to,

and then being like – no no no,

do not lie tell him the truth,

“I am seeing someone, and I really like him”

and then typing his number over and over again,

always messing up,

0774 no 07735 no

a rising panic, i need to tell him –

i want to be with him,

and then i woke –

a nightmare of sorts,

cool sweat along my body,

I look over and he’s there next to me,

just a dream – we’re together,

we’re dating – I kiss the curve

where his neck meets his spine,

and entwine our bodies.

I tell him all this, in a need to share my thoughts,

to feel close and open, he mumbles

and through sleepy eyes look at me,

I have to tell again, he was sleeping-

my brain alive and acting,

at 6am I told him I thought we’d been having a conversation

all night, but realised it was just a dream,

though we spoke til late little mumbled moments,

“let’s share our worries more,” he said –

I’ve never felt this before,

a real laugh – the kind with tears,

as we give each other tattoos –

we live, we are live in the present

our hands holding, our lips melting,

“I could kiss you forever,” & I could

I could, too…

Oh is this real, how could this be?

after tequila & indifference & fear,

& now I’m here, here with you.

.


Psyche revived by the kiss of love, Antonio Canova

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *