He Could Be #4

but now he is,

he is my boyfriend

and I am his girlfriend.


It has been two months,

yesterday exactly! since we met,

and started dating.


Oh how smooth and fast it has moved,


I didn’t realize there was space for him,

until he was there,

and now, now he’s like ivy on me,

and i am ivy in – wrapping and kissing up into the cracks,

beautiful together.


I know I feel it, I know I do.

I feel it in my chest, I feel it in my vagina!

Alas, the past, the past –


my brain is like a machine

it remembers everything

knows what has been

connects x + y = z

and now has seen the equation a few times…


and the z, z – fear of the z, but it doesn’t it wont be like those other times.

you are conscious now – you need to share how you feel and express it.

god you fear your own thoughts, and the moment you say them they feel fake, unreal


Les Printemps, Pierre Auguste Cot, 1873