but now he is,
he is my boyfriend
and I am his girlfriend.
.
It has been two months,
yesterday exactly! since we met,
and started dating.
.
Oh how smooth and fast it has moved,
slipped
I didn’t realize there was space for him,
until he was there,
and now, now he’s like ivy on me,
and i am ivy in – wrapping and kissing up into the cracks,
beautiful together.
.
I know I feel it, I know I do.
I feel it in my chest, I feel it in my vagina!
Alas, the past, the past –
.
my brain is like a machine
it remembers everything
knows what has been
connects x + y = z
and now has seen the equation a few times…
.
and the z, z – fear of the z, but it doesn’t it wont be like those other times.
you are conscious now – you need to share how you feel and express it.
.
god you fear your own thoughts, and the moment you say them they feel fake, unreal
.
Les Printemps, Pierre Auguste Cot, 1873