You Can Suck My Clit

To me, love is accepting someone, it’s wanting the best for them even if you’re not what is best for them, it’s wanting to hear about their day and wanting to help them when they are down.

“I love you, but I never fell in love with you.”

What does it mean to fall in love? What even is love? What does it mean to love someone? To each person the answer is different, although film, tv, and literature (basically all forms of culture) make it seem like there is some perfect recipe for love – butterflies, lust, thinking about them all the time, wanting to be with them all the time… and yet, how many of those relationships are actually happy? How many of them actually allow the person to flourish and make the most of their life? Not many.

Examples – A Star is Born, Romeo & Juliet, John Tucker Must Die, Legally Blonde the Musical (& the movie), One Day by David Nicholls, Commonwealth by Ann Patchett, Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia 2, and so many others.

Love to me sometimes feels like a justification for being selfish. I hate love poems that say, “I did this for you, I did that for you, I was like this to you,” and they never actually talk about the person they are meant to be in love with – they just go on about what they did and how that person made them feel. It is never actually about the person they love. I admit, my love poems are mostly about me. Perhaps this is more indicative of society and the way we are taught love must feel, the way society is very individually focused.

Throughout my relationships, I’ve always been afraid to put myself first, to value my power. I’ve only ever had my heart broken. I have cried so many tears because of this, but I’m done crying. I know that I deserve to be treated better.

I never let my boyfriends’ suck my clit because I was worried about what they thought about me, and also didn’t want to hurt their feelings when they inevitably didn’t find my clitoris. Now, I’m putting myself first. Now, you can suck my clit.

Here are a few poems I wrote about my experience falling in love. As Allen Ginsberg says, “Sincerity is the key to eternity” & Ariana Grande says, “I’m so fucking grateful for my exes.”

He Could Be #1

He Could Be #2

He Could Be #3

He Could Be #4

He Could Be #5

He Could Be #6


Read the next post in the series, “Never Ever Getting a Boyfriend Ever Again Ever”

Check out the rest of the blog posts from how to value your own thoughts.

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