This morning I visited Longevity Coffee. I’ve been wanting to go for ages – right across from my favorite British pub the Crown & Anchor! After feeling rather gloomy this morning, I did it. I tried to do something for me to bring me joy, one of the things from my “20 Things I Love List”:
I love visiting and supporting independent, local restaurants and stores that are made with love.
Well, Longevity Coffee is definitely a local and independent shop made with love!
Here’s a wee poemy-review I wrote about my experience this morning:
I did it! Even though I felt the patter of ambivalence
and the count-down to Time-to-Work,
and that feeling – that my life is not my own,
I got in my car and did the thing I’ve been wishing to do,
to try a coffee at Longevity: the world’s healthiest coffee!?
Husband & wife & daughter side by side on a Saturday am.
Wide smiles and such warmth, a shop of love,
“This is for my girls,” so I gave a tip.
“We make our own almond milk!”
and I couldn’t resist.
Sitting cross legged on turf in a parking lot
nibbling almond bits in my cappuccino
& feeling holistic.
This is the new normal, mask at my side, 6 feet
a Pilates class in masks in tents nearby.
Check phone. 9:43. Sip.
Check phone. 9.45. Sip. Stop! Enjoy your 5 mins.
At 9:50am, I will – nah, I’ll just go now,
sipping as I drive until
half of it is on me and I cry.
This is all temporary. This is not working.
No room for spontaneous, in this hustle to
live a long, happy life, whatever that means.
Stop counting. Oh my anxiety. Focus on joy.
Another sip, wipe my tears, put on my mask
My job is to make a girl smile for three hours
So I let myself go. So many people I am paid to make smile,
but what about me?
When I get home, my grandpa says, “My TV was broken and …”
I keep on my mask.
I am not well again, I am not well.
Why does it all feel like emotional labor?
Paid to give it and ashamed to receive it.
I don’t want to be me, and I don’t want to be human.